so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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