I feel like abortions should bother me more
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
