i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
