We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize