But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
