If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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