so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
nutella sex= disaster
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
