my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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