I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
