Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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