When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
