WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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