Your face is a jimmy john
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
