I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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