you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize