I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
