I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize