I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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