woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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