Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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