I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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