guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
