i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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