If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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