We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
