Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
