is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
