If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
