Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
