i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
