Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
