Betty ford says i'm here all night
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
