its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
