That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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