and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
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