I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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