Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Hippo gnu deer
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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