All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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