Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
