but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
