"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize