All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
