I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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