Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
