I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
