what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
