When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
