I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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