Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I got her a Nickelback box set.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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