She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
