i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
