I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
