ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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