marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize