I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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