did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
