Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
