You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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