She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
MIDGETS
????
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
