i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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