Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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