let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
