your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize