I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize