oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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