We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
