WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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