Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize