I'm going to jail i love you
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize