i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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