like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I want a musical about memes.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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